He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
oh, and bring over your fire extinguisher. we're gonna get the mailman again
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
Some older looking guy gave me his card as he exited the train. Hes a pharmaceutical rep. I'm debating asking him for a job. Obv he wants sex but if I can get a job out of this maybe I can offer him more than a cheap dry handjob bc that's all I'm really up for these days
I'm supposed to nail the old lady at 1:30 so I'll see you at 1:35ish.
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
I'm like 89% sure I could get him to buy me a car in exchange for a half-assed handy.
Pretty sure that I just proved those labels that say "non-flammable" wrong. totally unrelated, We just made your futon fly with a shitload of fireworks
I just realized this morning that my fridge is stocked with coronas, hot dogs, and cheese dip. And I just got waxed. High-five, your best friend is on track to be all kinds of slutty fun this wkd.
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