So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
we're at the bar and some girl dropped a bottle of burnettes strawberry vodka out of her purse and it broke.
i mean, if that's not class, then i don't know what is
So I just found out that my mom and dad arent married
What? They have three kids?
Yep. And apparently I have a half brother. Happy Birthday to me
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
Hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking you had a pulse
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
Randomize
