I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
Just heard the girl at the bar cuss her bf out and order a long island ice tea. Going to give it 5 min then I'm going in. See you on the other side.
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
I asked you for a cigarette and you handed me your phone and told me to search for one
All I remember is an overwhelming desire for chicken nuggets...
Yes, you pinned my brother to the floor by the throat and threatened to slaughter his family if he didn't drive to mcdonalds and get you some.
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
Randomize
