does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
i dedicated my morning wood to you.
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
You were buying shots for everyone, saying, "I got a tax refund. I'm a MILLIONAIRE."
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
Pretty sure we're going to get a cease & desist notice from the Make A Wish Foundation, but until then...
Oh, now I remember why I deleted your number. You're kind of a dick. Please delete mine.
Afterwards the first thing I said was, "You know, you're probably the first guy who has ever gotten laid wearing Star Wars pajama bottoms."
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
Randomize
