No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
my coworker just texted me asking if i remember pissing in the mop bucket at the gas station
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.
YOU TRIED TO SWIM IN HER FISHTANK. I don't think she's going to call you.
Im crossing my legs while on the toilet. It's like I'm unconsciously thinking "if im going to barf and shit at the same time, Im at least going to do it LIKE A LADY"
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
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