I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
i bet if teenage jesus was here he would do a shot with me
my little brother just told me that I should start chasing my vodka with slim fast. genious.
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
My phone keeps autocorrecting to the "st. Natty's Day Parade" and I'm completely okay with that
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
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