The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
I seem to remember you being very disappointed that drinking Michelob Ultra didn't give you magic powers.
You do realize I got a panda tattooed on my ass just to get you laid, right?
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
Walking in to my alcoholic Assessment meeting with a black eye = 40% awkward 60% awesome
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
I'm 2 beers deep on an empty stomach, and I just wanna say, I pride myself on my use of commas
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
We gotta locate my vibrators and get them stashed away STAT
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