i was rollin on her like bob the builder
At dinner I grabbed his hand and he screamed "mom she just grabbed my penis" the proceeded to shove my hand down his pants! Hello Mr.Dick!
You brought back some girl with you at 3am and introduced her to everyone as "hot pocket"
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
You may see me on espn tomorrow drunk, half naked, and selling articles of clothing to rich cougars like i did last year, but i will NOT be drinking shitty beer
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
That penis you're staring at is the penis of heartbreak. Stay away. It will break your heart AND keep you away from other penises. BACK. OFF. THE PENIS.
Since your rent is paid til the first, we decided to use your apartment as the beer pong room. We apologize in advance for losing your security deposit.
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
You don't know scared until you've just begun the first stage of an acid trip till a guy on stilts with a creepy mustache and beard says "enter the Forrest"
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
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