I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
some girl at the bar told me my beard would tickle every inch of her body till she joy puked her face off.... that was so random and odd i just had to buy her a drink for having the guts to say it to me. WTF
The kind of drunk where you put two tampons in thinking that it'll last me longer ...
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
This whole having a new phone thing is like starting all over in life with a clean slate! (My old text convos are gone)
New phone new life!
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
Randomize
