It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
He keeps trying to sell me the forks from his kitchen drawer
Woke up next to my bed in a pile of skittles, sleeping on a pair of sweatpants. I can't believe the girl didn't stick around..
i was congratulating myself on not falling down the stairs when i walked into the wall. it's like one step forward, two steps into the fucking wall
That's the best thing about having gay dads, you don't gotta do shit on mothers da and everybody is down wit getting wasted on mimosas at brunch
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
He spent like 5 minutes figuring out how best to position me so I would still be able to watch the game. Maybe there is a benefit to dating a guy who cares about me but doesn't care about my team.
Pretty sure this is the part where you go buy a ring.
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
Then his buddy called and said "my car broke down, I need a ride. If I'm not home by midnight they'll extend my house arrest." And I knew it was time to leave.
You faceplanted on the railroad tracks and when I tried to tell you to get up, you told me you were "taking a quick breather"
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
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