Here's an idea...how about I take shots by myself and drunk dial you around noon?
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
I literally paid him in shots to clean my entire apartment. he even vacuumed...who said alcoholism is a bad thing??
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
at this point, i'm only going to therapy to get more free condoms
I guess I’m only into threesomes at Halloween, because I just woke up next to “Marilyn Monroe” and “Joe DiMaggio” in their condo
Randomize
