What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
the girl i fucked last night woke up this morning, disoriented and looked at me, and said "oh, you're hot." and went back to sleep.
I told him we couldn't have sex because I was ovulating and "I come from fertile people."
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
She bent over while grinding on me on the dance floor and her thong straps were hanging out, I thought it was a good idea to grab the straps with both hands and pretend to be riding in Santa's sleigh...not my brightest moment.
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
I'm listening to Michael Jackson while drinking vodka, alone. Honestly, l wish I could Moonwalk my way back to when I knew wtf was going on in my life.
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
Randomize
