too bad you live with your parents still
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
Drunk at work, covered in Cheetos is no way to go through life.
I found Cheetos.
I'm just that drunk tells people I love them or wants to set them on fire. Accept that.
As we were leaving a memorial service last night he turns to me and says, is it too soon for a post funeral blowie?
I am never drinking with the goths again.
I have the WORST hangover. Pretty sure my liver fell out while taking a dump. THAT bad.
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
Is there a number of dicks a girl can have in a weekend before it becomes unacceptable? Asking for a friend
Remember! It’sa long weekend and a holiday weekend and it’s America’s birthday! So don’t short change me!
I thought you were asking for a friend
Randomize
