Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
I don't have a choice really. It's either lose 15 lbs by Halloween, or I'm going as a giant banana.
In other words, he somehow found his way to my apartment, wasted, and was naked on my new couch. Completely naked. It was too special to pass up.
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
We knew it was a good time to leave when you spilt the salsa on the ground and were trying to put it back in the jar with your hands
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
you are like the bill nye of illicit activities
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
This date is awful. He’s too boring to bang
Is porn accurate? Can I order a pizza and do the delivery boy?
Randomize
