i can't put facebook on my resume under hobbies.
Going to a party tonight. Sorority girls will be there. Primary goal of the night: make one cry. Secondary goal: become a father.
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
You got called a pussy at a party with a slow cooker, you can't let that shit slide
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
Found some boxer briefs on my patio table this morning surrounded by a case worth of empties. Starting to remember why I have rugburn and a sore asshole.
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
Randomize
