Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
Just pulled my keys, cell-phone and a pack of cigarettes out from between my cleavage. This one guy's face was priceless.
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
I'm taking it from the chunk of pizza I just pulled out my hair that we ate pizza last night?
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
Just me, my martini, and my backup Martini.
I walked into the bathroom and there's this 6'5" cop washing his hands. He looks at me and goes, "Heard you singing outside. Sound real pretty."
No more tequila EVER.
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
