We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
You better be Eskimo Brother-ing the FUCK out of tonight right now. Long distance 'balls deep' high five
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
Just realized I've gone to court three different times with papers and a joint roller in my briefcase. #lawyeroftheyear
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
I always feel bad for the sober driver... Never been me but I feel bad... empathetic AF
OF COURSE I FUCKED HIM! Did you not read the part about him having red and green Christmas condoms?
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