I found your undies. They were wrapped around my leg.
girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
Ended up passed out drunk in the neighbors lawn, still in costume. Neighbors thought I was a lawn decoration. Ten points for best Halloween ever.
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
he cancelled our romantic dinner reservations so we could stay home and watch a Rocky movie marathon and order pizza. i know i should be upset but i think i'm kinda in love.
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
You know the rule about how you feel bad for getting food and not offering other people you're around, does that apply when you eat burger king at a strip club?
I had to cum in my sink.
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
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