There is a banner on a house by campus that says "welcome to college dads. Thanks for dropping off your daughters!"
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
Realistically you can't tell me you're gonna put mashed potatoes on your dick and expect me not to get excited
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
i came home after a long day at work and she dropped a plate of cheesecake and a bottle of whiskey in front of me and said here's dinner
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
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