none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
the bride spent most of the night apologizing to people she had punched earlier.
Apparently I was trying to convince him Springsteen has had buttsex. I ended the argument with "I bet he came from it too."
the guy in the stall next to me, came in, farted, laughed, and proceeded to give himself some sort of hillbilly pep talk that included the phrase "big pussy".
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
Great litmus test for what a useless adult you are: amount of shame you feel while eating a coffee cup of Fruity Pebbles
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
It’s like my vagina just knows when a man is a barrel-chested freedom fighter.
Considering I drank for you last night, do you mind picking up your half of the hangover
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