i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
A dude just looked at me like my drunk swaying was corrupting his progeny DUDE YOUR KID HAS A MULLET YOU'VE ALREADY RUINED HIM
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
Randomize
