i think my tv is drunk
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
Well, I was going to ask you what happened to all my lipstick. Until I saw the giant red penis on my living room wall.
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
just saw a sign in the bar that says "no more naked fridays". Where the fuck was I on these naked fridays?
Hey where the fuck is the rest of my beer? Lets start this day off right
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
I need to wake up with a beard between my thighs more often, I'm a fucking saint.
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
Randomize
