Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
GUESS WHO GOT ABSOLUTELY WASTED LAST NIGHT AND SPENT AN HOUR RAMBLING ABOUT KRAFT DINNER, HOCKEY, AND THE LAST TEMPTATION OF CHRIST
MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! I REPEAT, MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL! I LITERALLY NOW HAVE TO CANCEL ALL OF MY WEEKEND PLANS.
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
My one night stand asked me out to dinner. When he came to pick me up I got in the back seat. I thought he sent an uber. Awkward.
Yes I’m serious. I just worked YOUR 12 hour shift on 3 hours of sleep if you come over without tacos and an ice cream cake in hand we are done
The air taste purple.
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
Randomize
