It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
She loves me even though she knows all Ive done. Shes kind of like jesus.
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
please hold off on going into labor, i might need you to take me to the free clinic
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
He sent me a dick pic from his living room and it has pictures of his three kids in the background
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
i could have got laid, but instead, i threw up in her hair. you can cross that off the bucket list.
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
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