i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
She kept saying "I didn't do it" but she was so drunk she forgot her pee was orange from her UTI medicine.
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
I was mixing candy canes and coors light and was in a great place.
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
There are only four things in life that are certain. 1 Death, 2 Taxes, 3 The wu tang clan aint nothin to fuck with, and 4 you will never be more important than taco bell
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
Randomize
