His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
I was masturbating in my bed this morning when my ipod alarm went off and it started playing "show me the meaning of being lonely"
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
Simultaneously sexting while making brunch plans. Multitasking at its gayest.
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
Randomize
