Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split
You can't just send the picture of my vagina back to me, 2 months after we broke up, and make small talk out of it.
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
At least you have booty calls.
True. I just waste them though. I feel like I need to be told "there are people in this world who would give anything for just one and you have two." You know in that same tone your parents told you about the starving people in china
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
I'm listening to Michael Jackson while drinking vodka, alone. Honestly, l wish I could Moonwalk my way back to when I knew wtf was going on in my life.
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
Randomize
