I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
I just told my boyfriend I think I might be pregnant using Emoji icons....
which icon did you use to tell him he's not the father?
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
It was like getting head from an anaconda
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
COVER ME IN BACON THATS MY FETISH
ACTUALLY ITS NOT, I HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA WHAT AWAKENS THE MONSTER BELOW THE BELT
He caught me mid-escape...one leg out the window, bra n thong in hand.I just looked at him and said "Bye Now" n proceeded to fall out his window....then.... tell me why he texted me 30 min later to make sure i got home ok! #igotthis
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
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