I have the sudden urge to buy a Snuggie and wear it to the grocery store.
dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
barbara walters just said penis...
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
I just had a dream that I was pulling you around downtown on a sled, from bar to bar. Dear lord if we start that there's no hope for us
Don't forget ur talking to the master juggler. Remember that time I slept with 3 guys and made them all pay for plan b? Paid the rent didn't I?
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.
Oh god I just had an orgasim riding my bike. I need to get laid pronto.
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
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