someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.
I havnt even moved into my new place yet and there's already a county sheriffs card taped to the door with my name on it asking me to call him
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
Hey remember that night when you sang Fergie to me? I think that's the exact moment in time when the thought "I could be faithful to this man" came into serious consideration.
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
I told him you're making deviled eggs for the party. Sisters make deviled eggs to get their sisters laid. It's science.
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
Randomize
