Don't be mad at me. I know peeing in your drawer is 1 thing and peeing on you while you're sleeping is another, but im sorry..i love you
I've blown a few things in my day
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
Does slim fast make a chocolate heart for valentines? If so that's what she's getting.
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
Brandon's Recipe: two parts cocoa, one part sugar, one part milk, two parts four, 378 parts paranoia. Thanks for the fucking brownies, bitch.
Last night did I take a piece of pizza out of your hand and then proceed to eat it?
Twice...
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
The longer the dick, the closer to Jesus when you’re on top.
Randomize
