i got your date sluuuuuuut pick up my calls or else hes mine
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
no today was horrible, i woke up and somebody slit my car tire and left an apology letter in my wiper that said "sorry wrong house"
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
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