Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
God, please protect all woman from micro-penises
1. so the new neighbor u called dibs on.. I'm sorry..but not really. 2. She lactates, I guess that happens when you have a kid less then 5 months ago.... WTF!! 3. Is it fucked up I'm craving Ceral & Milk now?
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
He may have been a dick but he DID give me his Netflix log in. Maybe some good did come of it.
Slept with a member of the band last night, found out today after extensive stalking he’s engaged. Pro tip: don’t research one night stands.
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
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