Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree
But theres a keg here and me gusta
I'm sitting on my couch eating a bag of marshmallows and watching someone run bare ass down the street. What has happened to my life?
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
I woke up with my face covered in mustard. Your mom said I ate hotdogs like a pornstar
i tried giving myself a bikini wax.1. i hate you 2. i think i'm dying
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
Sorry, i'm on a strict diet of vodka and regret
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
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