Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
I saw a seagull swallow a hot-dog whole today, it reminded me of you.
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
Oh they knew you from a bachelorette party! You were the pole?
Ohhh shit yeah that was me. Fuck. I hate myself when I do that.
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
Randomize
