yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
I'm doing laundry in pjs and heels, home alone with my margarita bucket.
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
my parents have to start far too many of our conversations with the sentence "this is an observation, not a judgment" than I'm proud of
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
If I wasn't planning on spend the rest of my life with you I wouldn't send you so many nudes, so fucking appreciate it
I'm drinking because I just started here and every single person I work with wants to quit and when I asked a coworker how she's doing she literally just started crying.
Randomize
