At least we lost an hour tonight! Less time to make a fool of myself
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
I could run a drunk marathon in heels
Definitely got a blow job in Charles Schwab's bed last night.
I love my job.
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
How did the date go? No fake eyeballs this time?
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
His name was Dragon. For real. How do you not sleep with a Dragon? Don't judge me.
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
Randomize
