You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
Ran into my prostitute at Costco yesterday. She was with her boyfriend, I was with my kids. Awwwwkward.
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
i just got drunk and created an entire Dr Seuss unit for my first graders.
And he claims I gave him “fuck me” eyes while he was ordering me a happy meal
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
I'm hearing voices and sirens. I'm scared. I heard a manatee out there.
Randomize
