you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
I gotta stop tellin complete strangers at the bar that they're the godparents to my first born
ummm i just drove by ur house and ur passed out on the porch. please call me when u get this
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
Is drinking before noon still a bad idea if you invent an amazing cocktail?
My liver needs the occasional pep talk and a reminder that we are two weeks into freshman year of college.
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
Before he gave me the breathelizer, he told me to "blow like you're blowing your boyfriend". I like him. My tax dollars are well spent
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
well, you know. whores of a feather.
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
Randomize
