Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
He was telling me how the song fireflies makes him feel like he can talk to animals
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
No dude, I'm not naming my kid after your beard
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
I just wrote the Drag Queen from Saturday Night on FB and apologized for licking her. Weirdest thing I have ever typed...
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
Don't get into any trouble on your trip
The only foreseeable trouble would be pregnancy, but I gotta be sterile otherwise I'm beating some pretty fucking incredible odds
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
Randomize
