Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
Hey guys thanks for lettin me crash at your place for the weekend, I had a great time. PS I got three quarters of a hand job from an asian on the dance floor last night. True story.
I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
I just made my bed perfectly before realizing that I'll be too drunk to appreciate it tonight
I feel like vodka or no vodka, you'd still be trying to button your cat into your comforter
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
'valentine' just autocorrected to 'cake robe' in my phone
I think that summarizes my life up pretty accurately
And change of plans today, I'm gonna lay in bed and eat taco bell and try not to die. Brazilians another day.
million dollar idea: razor dispensers in bar bathrooms. your welcome, girls who didn't think they were getting laid tonight.
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
Randomize
