I woke up to him trying to put his dick in my mouth. When I asked him what he was doing he said he was trying to make me stop snoring...
every time I see Anne Hathaway all I can think is "my cousin fucked a guy who fucked her" and it makes me proud.... so I want to say thank you for being that cousin.
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
The feeling I get when I hear beer bottles clinking must be what children feel when they hear sleigh bells on Christmas Eve
Fuck these runners passing me on campus as I'm waking to dinner. With my huggie. With flavored vodka and rum. Aka yum
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
I woke up with an empty beer bottle in my slipper and a note that said "it just wants to be warm"
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
Randomize
