it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
Don't leave without me in the morning. I keep scaring everyone cause I'm sleeping in the bathtub.
I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
Found my bike today. On top of the garage. I'm not even going to ask myself why.
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
There is a reason my most meaningful relationship since 2012 has been with Duracel...
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
i just turned on my printer and found 10 pounds of german chocolate inside. i think i found where you hid your candy last night
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
Randomize
