i woke up to her playing with my penis. just wiggling it around and around. awkward night? i would say so.
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
i think im the only person who makes thank you cards for their drug dealer
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
I thought he was being really sweet and protective when he pulled me away from the guy i was hooking up with, but turns out he just wanted me to get chicken nuggets with him...
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
If there's a nuclear war you can come over. I'll feed you soup and you can rig up car batteries to power the coffee pot and toaster. We can grow tomatoes and chickens.
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
Randomize
