At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
He broke up with me by playing Lynyrd Skynyrd "Free Bird".
He measures volume by how much weed he can put in it and surface area by how many people can have sex in it.
You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
I resisted the temptation to hold the cake in one hand to alternate bites with the ruffles I was eating. I decided that might make me look dysfunctional.
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
I'm chatting on my fake OkCupid account and watching Lion Witch & Wardrobe on my second screen. Hail me, King of the Creepers
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
Randomize
