What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
Why can't we have signs that automatically flash on our foreheads that say not interested when gross ugly guys come around, like those glasses that get dark when the sun comes out?
Anyone who says sunshine brings happyness has never woken up with the worst hangover of their life to their window being open and it being a bright shinny day
Is it possible to make a milkshake in a martini shaker or am I gonna need a blender?
I had one margarita and got the worst headache of my life... its like my liver has senior week ptsd
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
He just turned down phone sex for hockey and I'm so relieved I'm fucking a straight guy that I'm barely even mad
They both showed up at the same time... to surprise me. One had flowers and the other had chocolates. Needless to say, I will be at the bar all weekend long trying to figure out how this happens.
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
It's 8 in the morning and you're doing coke and drinking margaritas. First, you have a problem. Second, why didn't you invite me?
Have you ever wanted to murder the Sun? To bring the life-giving fusion reactor to a bitter end because of the sheer agony it brings to your eyes as it keeps you awake. And for waking the birds. Fuck birds.
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