How'd it feel making her break her religion?
I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
I met her at the liquor store. I hope I'm wearing a condom
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
I wanted to make fun of someone saying that to an untrained ear, skrillex is blah blah blah. But it was too soon after they said it. And now I can't find it. These are real problems.
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
I look like I just got gang banged and I'm wearing a Taylor swift t shirt. It's not gonna be a pretty breakfast.
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
The cashier looked at my basket, looked at me and said "That's a lot of wine." I looked at her and said "Mother in law." She nodded approvingly.
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
Randomize
