i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
I've gotten 23 condolence texts about Germany's defeat. I got 3 for our break-up. That's how much my friends don't like you.
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
Just saw a guy walking down the street carrying a giant inflatable penis
Just arrived at our party
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
currently googling "apology gifts for when you poop on their floor"
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
I guess I called her at 2am, demanding that she bring us food. She told us to order pizza, and I yelled "DON'T MENTION PIZZA!" I recall nothing.
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