We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
I'm waiting for seagulls to eat this throw up
Most awkward sex ever...
And im texting you in the middle.
Dan is more possessive of me than a Michael Jackson is of McCully Caulkin
was*
True, R.I.P.
Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
Thanks for making me watch you dance provacatively by yourself in the bathroom so you could see if you looked fat.
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
Can we go to the gas station to get cigarettes before we get drunk. It's hard enough to say Marlboro sober.
He said he discovered the mysteries of the universe inside an orange... I want whatever he was on.
Afterwards the first thing I said was, "You know, you're probably the first guy who has ever gotten laid wearing Star Wars pajama bottoms."
He passed out with his shoes on 20 minutes till midnight, and I didn't have a sharpie so I took the cheese whiz and filled his exposed ass crack.
Randomize
