this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
I just got turned down by a drunk fat chick. At my own birthday party. God hates me.
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
THIS IS THE EMERGENCY BOOZE SYSTEM. I AM EN ROUTE TO DEWITT WITH A FIFTH OF TEQUILA. THIS IS NOT A TEST
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
Block me from your phone tonight…I need to get laid tonight. But you've been being a douchebag. So not by you. But I might call you. So block me.
WHY WOULD I COCK BLOCK MYSELF???
God, I missed his penis.
Randomize
