Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
the homeless guy was waiting for me this morning. this is the closest to a boyfriend ive had in years.
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
I don't know. I woke up in the back of a cab in a drive thru line at whataburger with police lights flashing and my friend yelling" you didn't have to sell us out phil!" to the cab driver.
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."
That wasn't a compliment.
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
"They let me see the x-ray. My nose is broken. I saw it. It was cool. Well, I guess it would be cooler if it wasn't my nose."
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