why do cheetos always look like penises
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
I accidently showed a girl my balls already today. Made me think of you.
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
Just woke up to the cat unconscious on my stomach, his face between my tits, purring to bring down the walls. I'm endeared and horrified at the same time.
Randomize
